What you can say to a childfree woman that you cannot say to a pregnant woman or mum

Double standards are all around us and I, along with the many childfree women around the world, have been subject to this our entire lives.

As childfree women, we are subject too judgment and criticism, mostly from mums and other women who see our choice to be unnatural, weird, going against nature, sad and any other number of negative descriptions.

Yet one thing really makes me mad. Why can people make comments to a childfree woman that would be considered mean and hurtful to a mum or pregnant woman? Why is one OK and the other not? Why are there two standards and sets of rules? Why is one socially acceptable and the other a social faux par?

So, what is considered acceptable to say to a childfree woman? Imagine you were talking to a pregnant woman or a mother. And then imagine the consequences and responses you would get!

  • Oh, wow really, you’re going to regret that!
  • But what if you change your mind?
  • Did you really think that through?
  • Your life won’t have any meaning at all!
  • You’re so selfish!
  • You obviously only think about yourself!
  • What a shallow & narcissistic person you must be!
  • What is wrong with you?
  • Why would you want to have kids? That is so sad
  • You’re going to miss out on the best things in life now you have a child!
  • How would you know, you’re not a real mother?
  • But what will you do with your life now!
  • Is your partner OK with that?

The context of words matters and these seemingly innocent words can cause hurt to any person. Some words, two different life choices and one is acceptable and the other is not! These comments are not acceptable to say to ANYONE!

So, in the future consider the comments you make to other women and how you would like it, if someone made those same statements to you! It is time to consider what you are saying, the impact it has and to turn any judgment & criticism into support

Another woman’s choice, doesn’t impact you, so I say “enough already”!

Are you childfree or undecided about kids? The Childfree Choices Program can help. Register your interest here.

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