Why you need to master the 6 fundamentals when trying to influence…
It doesn’t matter whether you are a trying to climb the corporate ladder (don’t bang your head!), running your own business, raising children or a combination of all three – you will be drawing on all your powers of influence!
But before you go even begin to have that conversation, you need to consider the 6 fundamentals when trying to influence.
The first and most important thing to remember is that people do things for their reasons NOT yours!
So, with this in mind, you need to consider the perspective of the person you are trying to influence and tap into what THEIR reasons would be, what human need they need to be fulfilled. You need to use the logic, emotions, metaphors and stories that will resonate with them – NOT your feelings or how you are affected! When you want to convince your boss that you really are ready for that promotion, you need to draw on all the reasons how she will benefit from giving it to you.
You need to balance EGO, RESULTS and RELATIONSHIPS.
Have you ever had an argument and become consumed by knowing that you’re right even though pursuing that truth is damaging the relationship? This is your ego getting the better of you. Your ego wants you to get your own way irrespective of the consequences to the relationship and results.
Yet, if you just allow the relationship to dominate you also won’t get the results you want as you won’t have spoken up for your needs and resentment can build.
By balancing these three elements, you can try to influence by maintaining your values and self-worth.
You need to actually ask for what you want or risk not getting it.
Surprisingly, many people never actually ask for what they want – we see this often in personal relationships and with women shying away from putting themselves forward for career progression. If you don’t ask you risk not actually getting it! Of course, you need to ensure you are using the right technique enable you to get what you want AND maintain or even improve the relationship.
Influence happens one person at a time.
If you’re trying to convince your team of the need for a change in the workplace, getting one person on-side creates momentum. Some people need to know others agree before they will commit. Elicit the help of those you have already convinced to help you win over the more reluctant team members.
You need to take full responsibility for your impact.
The techniques you use, what you say or even the promises you make, are your responsibility. If you compromise your values or those of the person you are trying to influence, you risk losing trust. This will be far more damaging in the long run.
There are NO GUARANTEES.